On Consciousness, Care, and Cussing for the Intelligence of the Body

How Swearing Makes You Stronger, Mom Power, and Embodiment

Holy Fucking Chickfly New Year, it’s time to think about what you really want to achieve, and then swear dirty, because science suggests this might help you achieve it! This post is about the surprising power of your personal connection to your body and mind. When I set out to write this post, yesterday, this article did not include any cuss words, but then I heard this NPR news program on swearing, and had to add it in for extra blessings! We’ll get back to swearing. and why, later. First there is an exciting wormhole of self-awareness and empowerment to explore.

One’s own body is a mystery to most people, something like a black-box. I am imagining Schroedinger’s cat. What data can your brain observe about your body without a lab test? What do we believe we can observe or change about our own body by using our mind? (and, curiously, are your answers to this question the same or different)? Most people think it is minimal. I would argue that we can significantly change things in our body with our mind, especially in times of duress.

Some of the magic my mother gave me is the belief and confidence that I can make changes in my body by communicating with my subconscious, and that I have a direct link to it that can be accessed, simply, through thoughts.

Here is an example of how I used this in an emergency situation. I was giving birth. Labor was going fast in my greenhouse under candle light and head lamp, with a hot wood fire, where I birthed on the floor on a Persian rug. My midwives were amazed at how well I was doing, but I, of course, felt like my body was being ripped in half. They did not encourage me to push because quick births can result in more tearing, so they soothed me towards going gently. I read in the birthing books that contractions are entirely out of your control. They should have taught that they are 99.9% out of your control. I believe you may be able to slightly influence their frequency, just like you can influence the length of your breath. There were about ten critical points at which I begged “The Great Spirit,” or “God” or my own “Spirit,” for a slowing in the tide. Each time I got a long break before the next contraction in which I rested for a full minute. This saved me. I felt empowered. I believe that I intentionally and successfully slowed my contractions for about 40 seconds each, a number of times, and this this contributed to my having a better birthing experience. Who knows, it may even have saved my vagina from tearing more, too. On a more orgasmic level, I have a friend that set her intentions on an orgasmic birth, and had one. We are each such unique, magical individuals. My mind-body successes have always been on a more basic level.

The reported study in which people swore for empowerment that I listened to this morning had people do a heavy lifting task: the control group said an innocuous word, and the study group chose a powerful cuss word (like something they would say when they hit their head), and another group chose a substitute word like fudge or frack. It was found that the people who swear with real cuss words can actually lift the heavy weight for significantly longer. I have felt this myself when doing push-ups, and I believe you all know the feeling. This suggests that by cussing, one makes a powerful connection to their subconscious and actually can achieve more with the muscle they have. The most significant thing that I noticed is that there is a measurable change made simply by uttering the words, one doesn't actually have to feel angry or upset. It's like a little boost, or superpower!

My boyfriend has chronic trouble sleeping, often waking up in the middle of the night. This is a common problem with many potential causes. He believes his is at least partly due to a traumatic brain injury at the age of eighteen in which he almost died. Aside from this making sense from a PTSD perspective, I believe that we need to listen to ourselves about our own bodies. I believe that our subconscious and conscious selves should be communicating with each other. So I asked him if he has communicated with his subconscious self, spirit, mind, or whatever you want to call it. And he hasn’t, and actually, while he has considered meditation but found it impossible, the thought hadn’t even occurred to him. Which I find surprising, because I talk to myself all the time.

Here's a funny way in which I have habitually talked to my subconscious for years. I imagine I have three small gnomes in the library of my brain. They are my file organizers, or secretaries. When I have too many thing on my mind, and I have a thought, and I don’t want to forget it, I ask them to please go file something away, safely, and bring it out again when I need it. I use this especially when I meditate or sleep or rest (because sometimes I suffer from anxiety and can’t rest if I have too many thoughts bouncing around my head). And they go and do it, my ‘gnomes,’ that is. They are all male, btw; don’t read anything into that : ) They are also fat, well mannered, and only two inches tall—so they can fit. They never swear, in fact they don't say anything at all. Then, in a timely manner, the important thought returns to me. And I trust them. And this helps me do other self-care, subconscious self-healing and meditation. It helps me relax.

One of the most powerful uses of this mind/spirit-communication tool is speaking to oneself before surgery or dental work. Talking to myself is a must before every one of my dental appointments . And I LOVE going to the dentist. I know, it’s weird. But I have taught myself to love the care and intimacy of it. I tell my body about what is going to happen while I am sitting in the chair waiting, and I silently say something like this to myself: “I have entrusted this dentist to fix my teeth. This will make us healthier and reduce future pain and suffering. I trust this person and am glad they are caring for me. I understand that there will be some pain, but you don’t need to signal it strongly because I have chosen this and believe it will make me healthier; it is safe to mute the pain signal.” Then I breath and imagine surfers surfing big waves. Sometimes I wiggle my toes to let off tension. And do you know what? I rarely use anesthetic. I literally drill without it, have done so for years, and have done as many as six fillings at once (because it saves time). And it only hurts a medium amount. And the touch of the dentist feels like a loving touch. I literally enjoy the loving feeling of someone taking care of my mouth in such an intimate way. I use it at the gynecologist, too, for anything invasive. So how’s that for mind over matter?

You could think I’m weird or have a high pain tolerance. Or maybe, I have tapped into a part of myself that can change 0.01% of subtle things in my body at the most critical of times. That makes all the difference. And I believe everybody can do it. I think some families pass down these things, and others don't at all!

Once, on the way to the emergency clinic, in an act of desperation, I told my two-year old to ask his body to stop bleeding.  This happened after he had injured himself by sticking a metal curtain rod in his mouth and puncturing the back of his throat - the soft spot up above. My mum had always warned me about this soft spot that was a throat-brain barrier, so I probably had internalized fear about puncturing it. Blood was pouring out of his mouth, and when I asked him to open it I could see that there was a flap of skin hanging. I threw him in the car and started driving to the neighborhood clinic. There was so much blood, and I started to pass out while driving. I quickly pulled over as things, started to turn black, and I had a moment before half-fainting to say “Ask your body to stop the bleeding now.”

I said it earnestly and calmly and with gentle intensity (not letting my panic come through my voice). Little kids believe in magic, and they believe their parents. It is an effective mind-over-matter experiment, like a placebo. I turned around to look a few seconds later and the blood appeared to have stopped flowing. I was amazed.We made it to the clinic, the bleeding remained completely stopped, and everything turned out fine.

When I was speaking to my lover this morning we were talking about how as a culture we don’t recognize or people aren’t conscious of their own power. If they do then it is often in a religious concept of praying to a god outside yourself (rather than having the power within). Or, they just think that the conscious and subconscious brains are completely separate. To me this sounds, metaphorically, like a lobotomy of the fucking brain! As if the subconscious controls of our body are completely separate from the conscious ones, and we can’t control or learn anything about our bodies!

The recognition of meditation as a powerful tool for anxiety has begun to be mainstream, but this just touches the surface of our abilities as a "meditative" species (or maybe, we are the least meditative of the animal kingdom). We would each benefit from checking in with ourselves by laying down on the couch and trying to think about our breath or just listening to the birds sing or the cities rumble and our breathing deepen with consciousness. It's not laziness, it's self care of the simplest an most important variety. If you doze off and take a bloody nap, it's probably because you needed that!

So for my sweetie, who had not done this before, I have offered to walk him through a meditation. Talking meditations are relatively familiar to me because I went to a high school where we had morning meeting with the whole school every day and did a 2 to 4 minute meditation. Three years of that practice, as a teen, apparently sets you up for life. I remember our science teacher, who had a Ph.D. in Chemistry and was a surfer and diver, told us that if we made the habit of taking eight deep breaths now, science showed that we would breath deeper for the rest of our lives. In our Health Sciences class he measured our lung capacity.

Today I realize that I breath deeply and slightly meditate just about every day. I call them naps. I don’t see the point of feeling like you have to sit in an uncomfortable position. Most of us need to rest. So I lay down, I take deep breaths, and I try to do something peaceful with my mind for at least a minute or two. This often includes becoming conscious of where my body is tense and relaxing those muscles.

So I was speaking to my partner and suggested he start by saying ‘hi’ to his subconscious (he may need a more intense or professional therapy; either way I think this meditation can only benefit him). Specifically, I think he could say something like this to himself, and it may help to start out by doing it out loud (but I usually do it in my head):
“I have observed that you are feeling vigilant at night, that your sleep is light, that you wake for long periods, and that my spirit is muted in the day from lack of good sleep. I think that this was caused because we were in a big moter-cycle accident so many years ago and almost died. Maybe you feel like you can’t fully rest. I need to communicate that as my conscious-self, I feel very safe about where I sleep at night and there is no danger: You can rest. I would like you to trust me. I live in a safe neighborhood, there are fire alarms in the house, I have a loving family, and I lock the doors at night. There is no need to be vigilant at this hour. I thank you for your tireless service, and ask you to stand down. During the daytime, while I am driving, you may remain vigilant because it is true that driving is dangerous. If I sleep better, I will even become a safer driver. I would like to fully communicate this through every cell in my body, and any spirits that may look over me (enter any personal spiritual beliefs as needed), so that I can achieve a healthier life balance.”

It's a good idea to even imagine a messenger companion, like an animal, god, mother, or similar to my gnomes, which takes this message for you and communicates this message far and wide throughout your sovereign reign on the kingdom of your body. Or you could imagine a mothering spirit rocking you to sleep and guarding over you and keeping your safe. To fully integrate this idea throughout your being, you could imagine making carbon copies, sending amino-acid-messages to your cells, and even doing ecological restoration to the old neuro-pathways of your brain that you would like to decommission. I believe metaphors help the brain manifest things. Imagine grass growing in the "wake-up-lanes" of your brain when you wake in the middle of the night. Imagine bugs chewing grass. Just chill.

I used to think you have to believe in yourself to do it (or believe in the parent or doctor that asked your to). Now I think this is not true. The swearing study shows that just speaking the words that trigger things in your brain, even when you aren’t feeling righteous or mad, can make you stronger. So speaking other things can likely change your mind-body in other ways. That is a piece of what meditation is about.

So HAPPY fucking new year, friends!

Do you communicate with your subconscious? If so, is it intentional or passive? Leave me a comment!

Photos I could use with this blog (I could crop/edit first):